Dark Duck X1: Just a Nightmare
by VAPX007
Summary: Negaduck has a little trouble waking up ... Teensy bit of M rated stuff but nothing unusual for this forum. Set three and a bit years into the future. *Complete*
1. Nightmare

___Disclaimer: _I own nothing except the OCs that have featured in my other various partially posted stories and the concept. 

_A/N: The concept for this whole chapter comes from a nightmare that I had a few nights prior to this post. This may look like I've ripped the concept off _Shrek III _or _Groundhog Day _or an episode from _Star Trek: The Next Generation _called _"Frame of Mind". _But because I experienced this horrid-yet-novel nightmare for myself I hereby claim it as original under the name of _VAPX007_._

_The nightmare that I actually had dealt with my personal day-to-day reality. It involved a death, (someone) starting a used car collection (when he really shouldn't have), a foreign picnic table in my carport (where my beautiful car should have been), a few forgotten handbags and a thermos in said carport (which I had in mind to confiscate till the guilty neighbours came back and had to be grilled by me in order to get them back - this plan didn't actually eventuate because I 'woke up' again) and oh yes, the landlord obliterated my back courtyard for some reason or other. Twice._

_Neil Diamond commented about his "_Brooklyn Roads_" song being from Personal Experience and many other people also suggest that PE is a great source for creativity._

_A__/N: Okay, so continuity wise (because I believe dreams are recycled components of a person's mental reality) here is something that happens about three years after "_Return of the Mad Plant Scientist_" which I will eventually get around to posting. Also, I have done my best to post in the same manner as the other writers in the hope to curry the same sort of readership favour. Please Enjoy!_

* * *

**Just a Nightmare**

* * *

Negaduck eyed his black look alike lying outstretched on the floor. The vampire didn't get back up. Negaduck grabbed the stake from his breast pocket and ventured forwards.

He got down on his hands and knees beside the crime fighter. "I've wanted to do this for years ..." He held the piece of wood in both hands and raised it over his head.

Ten centimetres from Negaduck's victory, Darkwing Duck's hand reached up and seized his fists in a bone crunching grip. "So have I." Darkwing twisted his grip, forcing Negaduck to the ground. He ripped the stake from his fingers and hurled it away. "I'm so hungry, Negaduck."

"Not you!" Negaduck quacked, "you would never do it. You're a goody two shoes." Negaduck was unfortunately not as convinced as he wanted to be, however.  
"That's your mistake."  
"You won't kill me."

"On the contrary, all I need is a reason and I will." Darkwing lowered his beak to Negaduck's neck.

* * *

Negaduck woke up in his hideout, sweating. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard, isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "The bastard." He rubbed his temples. "He's in my head!"

He dragged himself out of bed. The dream had left him exhausted. His clothes were on the chair where he'd dumped them last night. He got up and pulled them on. Then he went to the bathroom and checked his neck in the mirror. He didn't see any marks. Of course, he'd discovered, vampires could also heal the injuries they made, so that wasn't any reassurance that it had really been just a dream.  
"Apparently I've gotta kill that vampire just to get a proper night's rest." He muttered.

He checked his pockets. "I need some cash."

* * *

"What a lovely day, huh, kids?" Reginald gazed happily at the world as he went along the sidewalk. Most of the people in the area had gotten used to seeing some of the greenery moving about, but there were still occasional gawkers.

Gone were the days when this would have upset Reginald, however. "Don't slouch, Julie. You'll get more sunlight if you stand up straight. Harry, don't hang back and you won't get lost." Reginald hesitated, looking at his third child, who was warily eyeing one of the gawkers. "Don't let what other people think bother you, Simon. You're not doing anything wrong and ... well ... that's the end of that story."  
Simon broke into a smile and took his hand. "Gee, dad, I love your stories!"

* * *

On the street, Negaduck spied someone familiar hidden inside a trench coat. He hadn't seen Bushroot in a long time. The plant-duck stood there with his jumping, flocking brood around him.

Negaduck approached them, remembering that Bushroot always kept loose money in his pockets when he went out. Silently, he crept up behind Bushroot as he was reviewing a discount advertisement for plants on a display outside a store.

"If they took better care of them, they wouldn't have to discount them. Oh, the poor things are all root bound ..."  
Negaduck silently gagged at Bushroot's heartfelt sympathy for the discounted stock while he simultaneously lifted a hundred dollar bill from Bushroot's pocket.  
"Daddy!" One of the little creatures yipped.  
Negaduck glared down.

The adult plant-duck spun around. "Negaduck!" He eyed the money in his fingers. "Give that back!"  
"Nuh-uh, I don't see your name on it. It's mine now." He always loved how Bushroot reacted to his taunts.  
"I'm not playing games, Negaduck. I need that to feed my children."

"A whole hundred dollars?" Negaduck laughed. Bushroot could be so melodramatic sometimes. "They eat dirt; I'm pretty sure they don't need a hundred dollars. What else do they eat? Gold?"  
"Uh ... N-no." Apparently being in charge of raising a family hadn't quite helped Bushroot with his nervous hesitation problem.

"See you later, veggie." Negaduck turned and headed off.

* * *

He didn't have any money anymore, so fertilizer was no longer an option. Sunlight there was plenty but his children needed nutrients to go with it.

Reginald stood there, thinking about Negaduck. While his wife was quite insistent that he would never steal things again, he got to thinking about what Negaduck was going to do with a hundred dollars. Not enough to buy a Thermo Nuclear Warhead; that was for sure. It was a petty crime and Negaduck only did those when he was working up to something bigger.

"Dinner's going to be a bit late, kids." He frowned. "Let's go home." He ushered them into the direction of their greenhouse.  
"Daddy, what about Negaduck?"  
"Hush now, Simon. Daddy will fix this later. You'll see; it'll be alright." He petted his boy.

* * *

A hundred bucks was small change in Negaduck's mind. He laughed when he recalled Bushroot's face. The pansy didn't even fight him for it, even though he was so attached to it. He scoffed, " 'I need that to feed my children.' Bah!" But talking about food, Negaduck decided what better way to spend the money than on some decent food? Dealing with the Terror could wait.

He enjoyed his lunch at an upmarket cafe and spent the afternoon, looking for anti-vampire accessories.

"Disgusting!" Negaduck stormed out of the grunge shop. "What the heck is wrong with these people? That's not grunge! If I see another fluffy monster album I'm gonna set a torch to it. What I really need is Quiverwing's arrow set, but the sports store has closed down." He looked across at the emptied out shop across on the other side of the mall. He could have sworn it had been open last week. "That means I'll have to take out Quiverwing first."

So at the end of the day, Negaduck still had sixty five bucks. "I'll have dinner and then cause a minor disturbance." He had to plot this carefully. The instant the 'disturbance' got too big, Quiverwing called for backup. And then Darkwing would know Negaduck's game because he'd take it straight from his head. And then he'd take it straight out of his hide.

Negaduck picked out a fancy restaurant and went in.

Over his dinner, he contemplated Quiverwing's standard tactics. Her arrow inventions did fairly the same trick as Darkwing's gas gun. Physically the first thing she relied on was speed and stamina. And ouch, did she know her Quack Fu. Negaduck flinched, holding his hand instinctively to a recent Quack Fu related injury on his person. This might be trickier than he had initially considered. But he had to have that bow and arrow.

A few hours later and Negaduck was waiting in the gloom cast by the streetlamps to put his plan into operation. He slouched against a corner, listening for the scrabble of a skateboard on the ground.

The instant he knew she was coming, he hurled the brick at a window across the road.

* * *

Hidden behind the last tree in the line, Quiverwing raised her bow and arrow, ready to fill the corner with smoke. But before she could set the smoke arrow loose, a branch took hold of her and lifted her high up into the air.

"Hey," She hissed quietly at the tree, "what do you think you're doing?" She struggled, and saw beneath her who it was that had decided to interfere with her plan. "Bushroot?" She whispered. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, sorry, Quiverwing." He answered quietly back. "But this is my turn." He reached up and snatched the arrow from out of her bow. "This'll be useful though."

* * *

She was taking longer than he expected. Did Quiverwing realise this was a trap? Now Negaduck was nervous. He wasn't armed to confront a vampire.

The arrow landed on the sidewalk and smoke billowed out. Negaduck coughed. "About time you showed up ..." He peered through the haze at the shadowy figure. "Quiverwing?" It was a bit too tall for her.

The smoke cleared and Bushroot was standing there. "Geez." Negaduck groaned; he could have had a heart failure. "Are you still crying over the hundred bucks? Just go steal some more."

"I don't steal things anymore." Bushroot advised him. "That money came out of my wife's pay check."  
Negaduck snorted and held out the ten dollar bill and odd change from the original hundred. "Here then."  
Bushroot snorted with an angry look in his eyes. "You spent all that money on food, and there's only one of you?" Then he blinked and the anger disappeared. "It must have been really healthy food." He stroked his beak in thought. "When did you have dinner?"

"What? Six thirty." Negaduck raised an eyebrow. Why did he just answer such a stupid question for?  
"Ten, eleven thirty ... Yeah I guess that'll be alright ..."  
"What are you going on about, you green-blooded monstrosity?" Negaduck snarled. "What did you do to Quiverwing?"  
"What do you want Quiverwing for?"  
"Nah. Not her. I just want her bow and arrow." Negaduck chuckled. "I wanna play a game of William Tell with the vampire that flaps."  
"I see."

She had been coming, and then Bushroot had interfered ... "Did you actually catch Quiverwing?" Negaduck was eager and had to know. He pushed past Bushroot and around the corner he saw the teenager up in the branches of the tree with her arms crossed in quiet indignation. "Oh, yes. This was even easier than I thought!" He stepped forwards, looking up at the bow strapped to her back. All he needed to do was get up there.

Vines wrapped around him, pinning his arms to his sides and stopping his progress.  
"Think again, Negaduck." Bushroot said calmly, holding onto him. "You're coming with me."

* * *

Bushroot hauled Negaduck up to his greenhouse and dropped him on the dirt floor.

"What is the meaning of this?" Negaduck demanded. "You're totally outta your tree." He got up, brushing himself off. "You hate me coming in here. You even threatened to jam my favourite chainsaw with sap ..."  
"Well, in this case I'm happy to make an exception." Bushroot licked his beak. "Hey, ki-ids!" Bushroot called out. Negaduck watched the plant-duck shaped things come toddling over. They gazed up at Negaduck.

"What are you looking at?" He snarled.

Bushroot whipped out his vines and knocked Negaduck's feet out from under him. Negaduck landed with a heavy thump on the ground. "I'm sorry you had to wait for mummy to come home from work. Here's your dinner, kids."  
"W-what the ...?" Negaduck said in alarm as he watched Bushroot's crop open their beaks to reveal razor sharp teeth. "No!" With miniature growls they jumped at him.

He shrieked, unable to shake the little monsters off him for more than a moment at a time.

'Hold still, Negaduck.'  
The voice was feminine and echoed in his head like the reverberative force of a jackhammer. Negaduck had heard it before. It was a voice that sickened him to the core. It was a voice that lied in the very sound that it made. It belonged to none other than Bushroot's wife. "There, you see, children. That's what you have to do." Negaduck struggled but that nauseating voice held him there on his hands and knees. She circled around him and into Bushroot's waiting vines. He caught the gaze from her hungry eyes as Bushroot's vines twined around her, his beak nuzzling into the crook of her neck.

"Yuck." Negaduck shut his eyes. "I hate romantic sop."

"Go on, kids. Your dad caught him for you."  
Negaduck tried to escape, but the oppressive feeling cast by the woman smothered him into submission. He grimaced as he was crowded in, tiny sharp pinpricks and tiny sounds of contentment from both sides.

It seemed like ages, but he figured that tiny gullets took longer to swallow enough. When they finally let go, he newly found his ability to move and sank to the ground in a wave of giddiness.  
"Ouch." He pulled himself together, looking up. "I see; you just wanted your hundred bucks' worth."

"No, that's not a hundred bucks' worth, Negaduck." Bushroot insanely chuckled.

"No ... what? I've got the change! Here!" Negaduck dropped the entire contents of his pockets onto the dirt floor. He edged back from the advancing monster that Bushroot had married. It wasn't a surprise to discover that she was a vampire. Not really when the plant-duck's best friend was a giant Venus fly trap and his first engagement had been to a nine foot tall duck-eating potato.

"No, no way! I'm not gonna let you!" He jumped up, running for the door.

He ran into her arms before he'd realised she was in front of him. "No!" He struggled but her voice was in his head again, smothering his willpower. "Bushroot ..." He searched the greenhouse looking for him, desperate for some leniency. Bushroot had been the weakest in their group. He was always the first person to object to physical brutality, and always argued when there was the prospect of killing anybody. "We're buddies, friends ..."

The woman giggled softly in his ear. "Oh, Negaducky, you're so funny." He felt her hot damp breath on his feathers, before her sharp teeth sank into his neck.

* * *

Negaduck woke up in his hideout, sweating. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "Yeah, I'll do some weeding alright!" He ignored his pounding temples and jumped off the bed, grabbed his clothes off the chair on which he'd dumped them last night and shrugged into them. "I'm gonna commit herbicide!" He cackled and went through the doorway.

* * *

Megavolt? Negaduck blinked. He'd been heading the direction of the gardening aisle but now he turned back. He snarled, recalling a few unpleasant encounters with the dim bulb. Add one more person to his list for destruction. He came towards the checkouts where Megavolt was standing in line.

"Daddy, what's this, daddy?"

Negaduck stepped in front of Megavolt. The miniature rat was between them, holding up the battery packet for him to look at.  
"... It's gotta drive you crazy; all this sugar and spice." Negaduck looked triumphantly at Megavolt for the fate that life had dealt him, but the electric rodent simply passed his sights over Negaduck's face before returning his gaze to the tiny child.  
"That's nine volt alkaline, Lucy."  
"Oh." The young rat said in disappointment. "Maybe running S.A.D.I.E. off the mains is a better idea after all."

Negaduck reconsidered the child, talking well above her age. What was she, three years old thereabouts?

"Well, it's up to you, my little luminary, but if you want to go with the batteries, we'll need more than one battery in order to generate the amount of power necessary for S.A.D.I.E. to run effectively."  
"Oh! Well, yes, of course! Oh, daddy, you're clever." She hugged him and raced off a little too nimbly for her age and she was back with another five nine volt batteries.  
Negaduck frowned suspiciously at the child. "Who is S.A.D.I.E., Lucy?" Negaduck looked up at Megavolt. "A new pet?"

Megavolt dragged his words. "Sort of ..."  
"Search And Destroy Intruders Efficiently. We're making a birthday present for my grandma."  
"Disable, Lucy, Disable, not Destroy!" Megavolt corrected somewhat worriedly. "If we wanted to destroy something, we'd just modify one of Uncle Quackerjack's toys."

"Hey, yeah, oops." Lucy grinned guiltily. "Oh well, it's only a subtle difference to the circuitry programming ..."  
"Lu-cy! You can't go around beating other people up. It isn't right."  
Negaduck laughed.  
"Don't laugh at me." The child growled moodily up at him. "My mental discipline only goes so far."

That was a good point. And considering this morning's nightmare involving miniature predatorial plants, it was probably a thing he should know.  
Negaduck looked up at Megavolt. "When do they start cutting ... those teeth?"  
Megavolt smiled back at Negaduck and didn't answer. Lucy swung around on the railing for a moment, and then went to investigate a nearby gumball machine. Negaduck shuddered.

Megavolt stepped up to the counter and dumped the batteries on it as well as two boxes of Quackano. He took a card from his pocket and swiped it, pressing in the pin code beneath the cover of his other hand so Negaduck couldn't see it.  
Nuts. Megavolt was far more streetwise than Bushroot by a mile. "You remember your pin code?"

"There's a trick to remembering things." Megavolt answered. "The very first thing is that you have to want to remember." Then he blinked. "Why don't you come over this afternoon? It's been ages since we've had a talk that didn't involve any grievous bodily harm. Come on, Lucy. Here, you want to look after the bag for daddy?"

Negaduck didn't find his voice to scream 'no' and Megavolt ushered him out of the store.

* * *

They were soon at his lighthouse.

'Oh, god, no. Why is this happening to me?' Negaduck fidgeted as Felicia insisted he stayed for tea. 'At' dinner or 'as' dinner? He watched the two toddlers clamber up the chair legs and into their seats like monkeys.

The food on the table was an assortment of vegetarian dishes.  
"Mummy, when can we go out hunting again?"  
"I'll have to discuss it with your father later, Thomas."  
Negaduck considered this child again. He'd already figured that Lucy was the one that had the savage streak. Thomas was the one that she pushed around. Negaduck looked over at Megavolt, sitting eating a charcoaled version of the rest of the food and grimaced at his rapturous expression.

Yee-uck.

* * *

Somehow Negaduck endured the excruciatingly picture perfect family dinner. After the meal he sat down in an armchair in Megavolt's lounge room, blankly watching the two children building the mobile security device. Negaduck was suspicious but it was starting to look quite a bit like a spider.

They didn't need a lot of help from their father and Megavolt just sat there as an extra resource, overseeing the production.

"Where's that transistor, Lucy?"  
"Here, Thomas."  
"Be careful not to cook the circuits, you two ..." Megavolt yawned, and then he sat straight up. "Of course! The power distribution's all wrong! Oh, why didn't I think of it before?" He took out his notebook computer from the lockbox under the coffee table and started madly typing away.

Megavolt's notebook machine was reconfigured to deal with frequent overloads from his energy field; no crook in his right mind would have stolen it because it would have had basically no resale value whatsoever. The same went for basically everything in Megavolt's lighthouse. Reconfigured, rebuilt, reengineered, recycled, reused, rubber coated crackpot inventions.

He rolled his eyes. Negaduck looked back to the two tiny terrors. Apparently they were bored as well, because they'd taken a break from the invention to tussle on the mat.

Felicia came in, putting a tray of vegetable sticks on the coffee table.  
At this moment Lucy had Thomas pinned and he cried out, "Ow, mum!"  
"Try growling, luminary." She sat down on the chair beside Megavolt. "It helps."

The overly intelligent toddler did growl, and found the power within him to push Lucy off and continue tussling. Eventually he pinned Lucy, which seemed to make his day because he began sparking dangerously. Negaduck tugged back the edge of his cape to avoid going up in flames.

"Well, I usually win." Lucy consoled herself and got up off the floor.  
The savage little monsters came towards the coffee table and began chewing loudly on the carrot sticks. "Hey, mum, can you show us the griplock again?"  
"Yeah, mum, please?"

Felicia grinned and got down on the floor. "Negaduck, you want to help out?"  
Negaduck's feather stood up on end in an instant. "Oh, no you don't!"  
Both of the children stared at him and then started giggling quietly. "He's funny, mummy." Thomas announced.

"Oh yeah? Well, you're implausible, Thomas," Negaduck snarked back.  
"No, you just don't have enough data." Thomas replied coolly and popped another piece of carrot into his beak with a loud crunch.  
"Wow, Thomas, how'd you come up with all those words so quickly all the time? I'm still feeling angry and stuff." Lucy said in admiration of her duck brother.  
"My genetic cloak is configured differently from yours." Thomas answered halfly.

Megavolt put his computer back into the lockbox under the table. "Now I'm not going to forget!" He said triumphantly.  
"Elmo?"  
Megavolt looked up to Felicia sitting on the floor nearby. "Sure, hon?"  
"Won't you come here for a moment?"  
Megavolt hesitated and got onto the floor in front of her. "You know I don't do these role plays very well, Felicia." He warned quietly.  
"You're a real trooper." Felicia grinned at him.  
Negaduck felt nauseous. 'Oh, god, no ...'

"Okay, kids, now you see here? Before I even touch him, I do this."  
Megavolt closed his eyes, his breathing slowed. Negaduck had no idea what she actually 'did', but even with Megavolt willing it was pretty darn effective.

"Whatever the effect you want on them, you want to get close enough to touch them." She circled her arms around Megavolt's shoulders, her fingers hooking in. "See how that's not all physical either? You combine these things and that gives you a proper lock."

"Make sure ..." Megavolt gasped. Apparently he was struggling with playing his role as the victim. "Always check for dangers before you even start. Everything that's going to happen and everyone that's around you are all vitally important. Even the person in your grip because ..."

Negaduck's jaw dropped. 'Person'? But he didn't have time to ponder over this, because Megavolt surged in electricity and broke Felicia's concentration. He pulled her greedily towards him, kissing her beak, roving his hands down her back.

"I'm bored now." Thomas turned away from their parents to look at Lucy. "You wanna go play with toys?"  
"Not when it's raining, and you know what dad's like when we start exploding stuff in the house."  
"You wanna eat Negaduck then?"  
"Sure, I don't think dad would mind much."  
Negaduck jumped to a stand on the chair.

"No, no you don't." He glanced around the room for a diversion. "What about finishing off S.A.D.I.E., huh?" He grinned, sweating. He jumped off the far side of the chair and bolted, hearing the sounds of their miniature footsteps after him. He flew down the stairwell and got to the door. He struggled to get it open, and when he finally thought he had it open and was home free, he woke up.

* * *

Negaduck blinked for a moment at the quiet, unassuming room that he'd picked to be his hideout. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. That one had been positively sickening and unrealistic. He'd never have endured that torture in reality, yet it had seemed perfectly real while he'd been there. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "How many times do I have to break this crummy clock?" He got out of bed, reaching for his clothes from off the chair and shrugged them on. "Blast it, I can't touch Megavolt. He's worse than his blood sucking wife." He fell backwards onto his bed again with a groan. "I could bomb the lighthouse but they'd smell that coming from a mile away and escape; stupid vampires. Then those snobby rich relatives of theirs would just help them rebuild. In the meantime, I'm snack food for the under aged." He rubbed his temples. "I can't think straight. Where is this flaming headache coming from?"

* * *

Negaduck jolted awake. He blinked. He was lying on his bed. He sat up, shaking. He gazed at his clothes draped over the chair. But he had only just put them on.

The radio clicked on. "Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "Wake up!" He yelled. "I gotta wake the frell up!"

The room was silent back at him. Was he awake? It seemed like it but he couldn't tell anymore. He jammed his clothes on, grabbed his chainsaw from under his pillow and started it up. He sliced through the door instead of opening it. "I'm gonna make sure I'm awake!" He yelled and went out to wreak havoc on St Canard.

* * *

"I am the Quack in the Dark! You've got a better chance at winning the pokies. I am the Quiverwing Quack!"

"Darn it." Negaduck dropped his chainsaw as it sputtered and failed. "Just when you run out of juice, the purple menace shows up." He turned around at the darkness. "Come out here under the lamplight where I can see your face when I throttle you."  
"Sheesh, Negaduck, do you have to destroy absolutely everything in your way today?" A smoke cloud surrounded him and he couldn't see a thing.

"Yes." He had a gut feeling she was coming from his left, and he moved to catch the blow.

He caught her foot, twisting her about before she landed on the ground. "What luck!" He crowed, eyeing her as she leapt up off the ground again. The Quiverwing's biggest asset was the initial misdirection and he'd picked it. She stood up and they were sparring. He grabbed a metal file from his breast pocket and hit her with it. She blocked with her arm, but he knew from the sound of the impact that he'd just done some hefty damage. She kicked the tool out of his hand.  
"Gee, Negaduck, that was cheap." She said with an intense amount of venom, largely caused by her injury.

"A dime a dozen, literally, thanks to Agatha's Discount Hardware store. It's just the place to go for all those common or garden hard boiled vigilantes that keep popping up in a puff of smoke." He laughed maniacally. For the first time, Negaduck had the upper hand in the fight. He swung again, and the crime fighter went down. He waited, feeling warm from the surge of triumph, watching her scrabble out of the way of his feet.

He stopped from kicking her and instead watched her struggle to get up whilst simultaneously ignoring the pain from the broken arm. She seemed a lot older than he last remembered, her figure had filled out quite substantially and he was struck with a physical inspiration. She stood up and he slammed her against the wall, grabbing her beak so she couldn't scream.

He felt a surge of lust as he pressed himself against her, feeling the youthful curves of her body against his trim kept form. "Oh, god, you have grown up ..." His hand automatically connected with his desire. She jolted in shock but only resisted for a moment.

"They've never been bad enough for you, have they?"  
She shuddered, whimpering.  
"Enough of this foreplay ..." He grinned up at her. "I know you want this too much to cry out." He let her beak go. She gazed at him with her wide green eyes as he lifted her up against the wall, forcing her legs apart. Her good hand seized his shoulder for support.  
"You know you can't do this, Negaduck."  
"That's not what it appears to me."  
"That's because you're an idiot. The thing is; you're not actually awake."

* * *

Negaduck woke up in his hideout. His bed was soaked and he was stiff as a board. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "Shut the frell up, you idiot!" He jumped off the bed, and ran into the bathroom for an ice cold shower.

Before he turned the tap on, however, he had an incredible jolt of fear. Someone was in his hideout.  
"Boss?" A bubbling voice came from behind the bathroom door.  
"Liquidator?" How could this day possibly get any worse? "Get outta here!" He twisted the tap but nothing happened.

"I wasn't in here ..." Liquidator puddled under the door and reformed in the room. "Now I am."  
"Great powers of observation ... now get out or I'll turn you into pudding!" He twisted the tap again. This non-event with the shower had Liquidator all over it. "Did you do something to the mains, you moron?" He hissed.  
"Never fear, Liquidator is here ..."

Negaduck squawked and backed up into the taps, but there was no escape in that direction and very shortly he was drenched in dog.  
"How's that?" The dog massaged him, soothing aches and even the other problems that he was currently having. He shut his eyes, groaning in relief.

This also was definitely a better way to get rid of the stickiness from his feathers; having someone else do it for him. "Take your mind off that purple menace, Negaduck." Liquidator said calmly. "You've got me now."  
"W-what?" Negaduck's eyes flew open, finally waking up enough to interpret Liquidator's ulterior motives. "Get away from me!" He quacked, hating the idea that someone could ever get the upper hand when it came to being shifty.

Liquidator moved out of the shower recess. "You did seem to enjoy the free sample." He gurgled smugly. "I guarantee that Liquidator's brand has the least number of side effects compared to some competitor brands; especially those brands that come in purple."

Negaduck grabbed a towel from the rack, snarling. If not for being water based, Liquidator would've been lying in pieces in the dumpster beneath Negaduck's bedroom window by now.  
"The Quiverwing Quack comes with a 100% guaranteed death warrant or your money cheerfully refunded."  
"I am not an idiot!" Negaduck snarled at his crime partner. "However I can't control my dreams any more than I can eliminate vampires. So I'm really sorry to tell you this, Licky, but you're not in any of my dreams."

"Oh, really?" Liquidator gurgled, increasing his menace with the irrepressible sound of his emotionally level salesman's voice. "Then don't touch that dial and stay tuned for another episode of Darkwing Duck!"

Negaduck snarled again and reached for his steam-o-matic to use on Liquidator. Instead of the handle, however, what he grabbed felt strangely like a sheet.

* * *

Negaduck blinked, finding himself in bed again. He lay there, his heart racing. "I'm still not waking up." He forced himself to sit up, and stared at the clock. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard. Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..."

Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. He grabbed his clothes off the chair and pulled them on. "I gotta wake up. Please, let me be awake this time ..."

* * *

"Boss? Are you not up for the heist?" Liquidator bubbled, the plans to the Metro Bank on the round table between the three of them as they sat.

"Sure, fine, whatever." Negaduck blinked away from him, remembering his last dream a little too vividly. He had to think. He had to concentrate. What else had the dream version of Liquidator said?

Negaduck blinked; now he remembered. "It's a set up." He rolled up the plans and threw them behind him. "That caped vigilante's setting us up. Let's wait a week." He looked sternly at Quackerjack. "Oi! Tinker Toy! Are you listening to me, Quackers?"

Quackerjack looked up from his Yahtzee dice. "Sure, boss. You're scared of Darkwing Duck. We understand. Don't we, Licky?"

Liquidator nodded. "Four out of five Fearsome team members suggest not upsetting the resident undead."  
"Who's the fifth?" Negaduck queried.  
"Megavolt!" Quackerjack jumped up laughing, tipping up his tray of dice, scattering them over the table and onto the floor.  
"Well, I'm not counting on his help. All he's got on his brain is his happy home life and his research job." Negaduck paused.

"Oh, yeah! That's right." Quackerjack said, crawling around after his dice.  
"And he's resigned from the Fearsome anyway."  
"Yay, a six!" Quackerjack jumped up and wrote onto his game sheet. "His kids just love my Destructo Toys. And he pays me for them, even though I'd give them to him for free because he's my bestest best friend in the whole wide ... yikes!"

* * *

Negaduck reached back and started up his chainsaw. He went after Quackerjack who got the hint immediately and raced out of the room, down the stairs and out of the building.

"Come back here you piece of no good rotten candy!" On the sidewalk, Negaduck barged through a construction sign as he headed after the bouncing Quackerjack. Without any further warning, there was no longer any ground beneath his feet.

He fell into darkness.

_

* * *

_

I am reasonably convinced that I am not Negaduck but I do honestly appreciate his point of view sometimes ... Okay, a little more than just sometimes ... Oh, heck, maybe I should write a 'Top Ten Signs That Your Alter Ego is In Fact Negaduck list' and check myself against it before I venture to make such a conclusion ...


	2. Another's Nightmare

_A/N: A note that this includes spoilers to some of my other (unposted) fics. _

_Or how they say it on the web:_

_... Spoilers ..._

_Spoilers ..._

_... Spoilers!_

_(*Shrugs* Anyway!)_

_A/N: Prepare to be disturbed in an all new way with..._

* * *

**Another's Nightmare**

* * *

Negaduck woke up with a pounding headache. He opened his eyes and discovered the reason: he was upside down. At this point, Negaduck realised he was gagged. Funny, this wasn't the way he usually woke up.

His bindings were tight around his wrists and ankles, and to make an escape even more difficult, he then had to deal with some medieval bird cage someone had stuffed him inside.

He looked around the room, seeing The Quiverwing Quack lying on a stone slab, her wrists and ankles shackled to the table. Once again she was a scrawny teenager. The room was stone and clearly very old. A hearth stood cold and empty to the side, and more iron bird cages like the one Negaduck was trapped in hung from the ceiling here and there.

Silent and still, the teenager slept on.

* * *

An elder duck came into the room, carrying a tray. He put it down beside the novice crime fighter. It didn't take Negaduck a moment to recognise him. It was Juan Ducker.

She groaned.  
"Awake at last. The sleeping draught lasted two days." He rolled up her sleeve.  
"What? Ducker, what are you doing to me?" She struggled against her bindings.

"You can't call out; your caped guardian won't hear you from in here. This whole place is set with silencers."  
She gulped and repeated her question. "What ... are you doing?" He was preparing the vial from the tray.  
Negaduck's stomach twisted with foreboding. He struggled vainly, watching Quiverwing staring at Ducker, aiming the vial at the vein in her arm.

"You're going to poison my blood. I'll be dead in ten minutes or so. Then what? You'll be alone again, your son still gone. Revenge is short lived and pointless."  
"Oh no, my dear. When it comes to vampires, revenge is forever." She clenched her beak and made not a sound as the crazed duck injected her.

"That was criminal, Ducker." After a moment her eyelids flickered and her body went limp again.

* * *

"Darling, calm down."

Darkwing Duck circled Morgana in Darkwing tower as outside torrential wind and rain deluged St Canard. "She was alone!" He shook his head for the dozenth time, continuing to pace. "And then she was gone." He sobbed. "It's impossible to die alone like that. Not my Gosalyn."

He circled again. "Oh, my poor little girl. There was not a trace of her left at the scene; someone ... has taken off with her body." He growled. "I'll ... eat ... them for that. If I ever find the person that did it." A crack of lightning and thunder punctuated his words. "He won't even know what hit him."

* * *

Several hours later Negaduck managed to free himself of his bindings. Escaping from ordinary ropes wasn't his usual thing; he normally tied other people up.

He moved to Quiverwing's side. "What ..." he croaked in a dry voice, "did he inject you with?" She was still, silent, asleep. It was too late at any rate. Negaduck turned away from her. 'I'd better get out of here before that Ducker comes in again.' He took a step away when there was a great sound as the chains ripped away from the stone.

He turned and saw that Quiverwing was awake and now free of the slab. The chains dangled from her wrists.  
"Why didn't you do that before he injected you with that stuff?"  
"Because I couldn't, Negaduck." She undid the chains from her wrists and her ankles.  
"Anyway, I'm getting out of here." Negaduck took another step away and Quiverwing pounced on him.

He struggled beneath her.  
"You don't know why he kidnapped you, do you? Why he put you in here with his victim?" She found the griplock, and Negaduck could no longer move. "Why! You are a demonic fiend, Negaduck." She bent towards him. "I can hear it in your heartbeats."  
"He ..." Negaduck felt himself quaking as a surge of horror filled him, "that stuff ... he turned you into a vampire?"

"I'm so hungry!" She angled her head, and he felt her sharp teeth slice into his neck.

* * *

Gosalyn got up. 'That ... was a mistake.' She turned about. Shadow, she needed to be invisible. 'How do you do it, Dad?' She was relying solely on his example once again, as she did, countless times before. She finally found the mental concept, and felt herself drifting away from the light to the floor.

She scoured the castle, looking for any sign of her aggressor. There was nothing. He'd be far away now, she reasoned. When non-vampires turned other non vampires into vampires, why then, the problem was significant in Gosalyn's mind.

There was nothing in the castle, it was empty and abandoned. She headed out into the forest, her mind now searching for food.

Gosalyn scrambled up a tree. She desperately grabbed one, then another and then another piece of wild fruit from up high in the tree, chomping into them in a nervous frenzy. It was nearly sunrise, and if she didn't get her immune system back up, she was dust.  
"I shouldn't have drunk any blood at all." She moaned, reaching for another piece of fruit, the last one on the bough. The branch carrying her weight gave out and snapped.

She screamed as she fell.

* * *

Gosalyn woke up on the ground amidst bits of broken branches with a splitting headache. She shielded her eyes from the sun. The sun; gosh it was hot. She backed up against the base of the tree and sobbed.  
"What has he done to me?" Her stomach ached emptily. "No, oh no." Blood, the taste of the criminal duck's blood: what a remembrance. She stood up, shakily. "More fruit, that'll help me." She went, looking around for another fruit tree.

She spied a wild berry bush. "Berries are good too." She reached out, but in her eagerness, she had forgotten one important thing about most berry bushes. She clasped her hand, pulling away the thorns. Oh, the smell of blood. She sucked on her finger, and reached out more carefully, snatching berries off the bush.

The more fruit she ate, the less the sun burnt her. But even as she felt less burnt, a fatigue came, rising as the sun climbed up higher. "I'm so tired." She was staggering as she walked along, yawning. "I'll just ..." She stopped in the shade of a large tree, and curled up between the raised roots.

* * *

Desislav looked out of the window and spied something. "Stop the carriage!"  
"Nein!" Oma snatched his arm, "it is a curse." He pried himself away as she crossed herself.  
"I don't believe in curses, Oma." He stepped out of the carriage and went towards the odd thing in the landscape.

The girl was quite young, Desislav noted as he picked her up and took her with them back to their cottage. He watched his Oma tuck her into his bed. His grandmother pulled out the cross from the top drawer in the side table and hung it over the bed frame above the sleeper's head.

He didn't think the cross was really necessary. "Oma, she was in the sun."  
"She is burnt from the sun."  
"But if she was evil she would be dust."  
"Grandson, what else is there to burn her out there? Can you answer that question?" He shook his head, and averted his eyes. "She will wake at sundown, be sure you are prepared."

He shuddered. "Yes, Oma."

* * *

Gosalyn woke up with a pounding in her ears and her stomach in knots of hunger. She sat up, looking around. 'Dear god, that's not a headache, I'm hearing heartbeats!' She gazed at the youth, staring back at her for a moment.

"Vampir."  
"Vegetables, I need ... vegetables." She clenched her fists; she needed something. She grabbed the pillow from behind her and strangled it in her hands. The young man backed away from her to the door.

"Oma!" He called out in German, repeating her request: "she wants vegetables."

* * *

Desislav stared at the young woman as she chewed desperately into the raw carrot. It was over in a few moments, and she hung her head in tears.  
"Either she will eat our pantry or she will eat us." Oma said quietly to him.

"... It's all in ... my mind, I'm not ... really hungry." The girl shook her head. "This is not hunger; this is an illusion to keep my ... m-mind working." She straightened in her seat, making Oma cross herself.  
"Holy father ..." Oma prayed.  
"Ducker just made a fatal mistake, turning The Quiverwing Quack into a vampire." The girl stood up and stomped out of the doorway.  
"Wait!" Quiverwing turned around to the old woman. "Ducker, you say?"

"Yes, Juan Ducker." Quiverwing nodded. "He turned me into a vampire as revenge on me and my dad." She shook her head. "I guess it was because of something we had to do. Too many people had already died. A decision had to be made or else more people would continue to die."  
"Juan is quite mad, you know."  
"I did notice that, yes."

"Your German is good; you are American, are you not?"

"I also speak Swahili and Mandarin." Gosalyn snorted. "Dad was right, I wasn't ready. I pushed him and pushed him. And I've let him down." Gosalyn fought back another fit of tears. "How did Ducker do it? He's not even a vampire himself."

* * *

The rain beat down on the Savannah.

Morgana looked out from their raised portable dwelling that she had quickly rigged. Tenting was not an option with Drake like this. It had taken a good dose of common sense to make him leave St Canard before his misery created flash floods. Since then they'd been around Australia for several days, and now they were ten kilometres away from the driest part of the world. And it still came down in buckets.

She turned her head back inside. At the moment Drake was reading a story to Raya. Morgana looked down to the table at his analysis equipment that had become a permanent visual reminder that her husband remained a careful, calculative super sleuth and it was only a matter of time before he found some trace of the fate of his elder daughter.

Morgana drew her attention to making cocoa.

* * *

Gosalyn felt her confidence returning, and that was the first thing she needed to take on her enemy.

She battled her imaginary opponent with a staff. "Missed me!" She back flipped and dodged another imaginary blow from another imaginary attacker. She twirled the staff in her hands and thrust it sideways. "S-teer-ike!" She spun around, and dropped to the ground, scrabbled back up and then dropped heavily backwards. She kicked the air and then jumped back up, cart-wheeled and grabbed her staff again. She twirled the staff threateningly, looking around at the imaginary attackers. "Last calls anyone?" She laughed as she imagined them running away. "That's right; nobody messes with the Quack in the Dark!"

Then she picked up the satchel, and continued to forage for food.

* * *

Negaduck was sick of vampires. He was sick of getting caught, getting trapped, getting eaten, getting threatened, he was sick of being second rated by crime fighters themselves. And he was physically sick from giving so many involuntary blood donations.

He pulled the drip line from his arm. "So a slayer turns Gosalyn Mallard into a vampire." He sat up on the hospital bed. "And the first thing she does, of course is chew on the snack he brought her. Why would he bother doing that if he hates them so much?" He looked up at the ancient window. The paint on the stonework was old and chipped. "He wants to turn her into a killer like his son that they had to put down. But the joke's on him." Negaduck snatched the empty bag from the stand and crumpled it in his fist. He stood up. "Because if they don't kill him, I will."

* * *

Desislav's Oma picked up the empty plate from in front of Gosalyn.

"Thanks."  
"You do chores." Oma sat down again. "But why must you always be fighting?"  
"Well ... I ... that's what I'm good for, that's what I do." Gosalyn blinked at Oma.  
"But there are other things out there that can be done."  
"Other people do them."  
"Have you not thought of something else you might be good at?"  
"Sure I have, but this is what I'm good for."  
Oma tsked.

"And now you are a vampire, and you go to battle a vampire slayer."  
"I know I need a bit more training. I won't try till I think I can handle him."  
"No! You need your head examined!" Desislav shouted at her quite suddenly. "Never try. Don't do it! Look what he's already done to you!"  
"I'm over it." Gosalyn shrugged. "It takes a bit of getting used to, but I'm much better now."

"Oma, explain to her."  
"Gosalyn, in all history, vampires do not seek out their slayers."  
"Well, he's already killed me, so that part is done."  
"No, Gosalyn, you don't understand! Slayers kill vampires, not the other way around."  
"Maybe an ordinary vampire, Desislav, but I'm not ordinary. I am The Quiverwing Quack!"

"Are you alright with killing, then?"  
"I've had to before." Gosalyn admitted quietly. "Ducker has the capacity to turn a person into a vampire. He's adding to the problem. He's not a benefactor of society, he's a demonic fiend."

Gosalyn stood up and addressed her attention to the dirty dishes on the sink. "Now, let's see ..." She picked up a plate, concentrating. "Yes! Vesperific!" She picked up each plate, and shortly the dishes were all clean.  
"How'd you do that?"  
Her grin faded as Desislav stood beside her. "Oh, nothing really. And yet everything at the same time." She defined the Vespers as she stacked the dishes back into the cupboard.

"Thank you for looking after me."  
Oma stood up in a panic. "You are going now? You are unpractised. Ducker will kill you very easily."  
"I know that, Oma, it's alright, I really do. But there's only one Duck that can help me. And if I know him, he'll be worrying about me right now."

* * *

In London it was teeming with rain. Morgana hurried up the street, her black umbrella was worn, her three year old on her hip was exhausted.

"Drake." She found her drenched husband, staring at a closed doorway. "Drake?"  
"I know who did it."  
"Where is he?" Morgana didn't have a spare hand to hit them with a lightning bolt, but give her a moment to ditch the umbrella...

"He's not here at the moment. I just realised it. I now know who killed our daughter."  
Morgana gripped Raya tighter. "Drake, who was it?"  
"Juan Ducker." He pointed to the brass plating on the brickwork. It showed several university professors' names, including Juan Ducker's. "He has equipment that makes him invisible to a vampire's senses."

"Then he could be here. Oh, Dark, let's go now." Morgana felt terror and Raya was beginning to cry from it.  
"Yes. Let's go back home." Drake reached his hands out for Raya.  
"No," she pulled away from him, refusing to give him Raya, "you're sodden wet and Raya will catch cold."

Morgana spun around and headed back to their makeshift home, listening to Drake's steps fall in behind her.

* * *

"Alright, prove it." Quiverwing watched the F.O.W.L. operatives at work in Canada. "Prove I can do this job. Prove I'm not a monster. I'm not hungry. It's an illusion." She turned to shadow.

"I am the Quack in the Dark. Stay alert, pay attention. I am The Quiverwing Quack!" She formed in the middle of the room and snatched a worker from nearby. She threw him at the next agent, and sent a flying kick at a third. Shortly she had succeeded in scattering them all. She looked up at Steelbeak, standing on the walkway above.

"What am I cursed or something?"  
"Yes, you are."

She translocated to his side on the upper level. "You turned Darkwing Duck into a vampire. Any non-vampire that does such a thing is ..." She seized him. "Not a very nice person. Also very stupid." She snarled, lifting him off the ground.

"Whoa, he turned you into a vampire?"

"No-oo!" Quiverwing said with indignance. "But someone just like you. There was I, watching out for vampires, when an Envy did this to me."

"Well, you're right." Steelbeak looked her honest in the eye. "I can't think of anything more stupid than setting another vampire loose on the world; it's demented. I mean, from a non-vampire perspective that is. What you guys do, that's ... quite alright with me." He grinned, sweating.

She put him down and snapped the wrist cuffs on him.  
He breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment there, I thought you might actually kill me."  
"For a moment there, so did I." She grabbed his arm. 'Thank my role model.' She took him to the local law enforcement office.

Quiverwing smiled to herself as she walked away from the county office. She cornered the criminal and nobody died, which she considered a bonus. She decided that it was time to return to St Canard.

* * *

The Quiverwing Quack stalked the streets of St Canard. "Give me a scare. Any scare will do. Where are all the criminals?" She found herself standing in front of the cinemas. "Alright, Q, this'll do!" She closed her eyes, shifting patterns.

She went in and bought a ticket.  
"Any popcorn?"  
"No just the aud-ah, just the ticket. Thanks."  
"Enjoy the movie, Miss Mallard."  
"I'm sure I will, Benji."

She grinned and looked at the posters. "The Midnight Screech III: The Annihilation of Central Command, in 3D. Perfect."

* * *

'Vanished.' In the purple Darkwing Duck costume, Launchpad watched the security cameras deep into the night.

'Poor Gosalyn. Poor DW.' But he'd long run out of tears, and the work remained. So he watched, looking for that sign. That glimmer of criminal activity, which would give him a reason to get out into the night air. He needed to release some pent up fury of his own. And there it was: two late night suspects and a crowbar.

He jumped up, raced to the rat-catcher and drove out of the tower. Once he got to the scene of the crime he threw a gas canister into the broken doorway.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night." He hid behind the doorway as the criminals squawked in horror and the gas filled the room. "I am the broken axle on the applecart of crime." He spun around into the doorway and web-kicked one of the criminals, grabbing the other one. "I am Darkwing Duck!" He punched the criminal, bringing him down. He snapped wrist cuffs on the both of them and pulled out his cell phone, dialling the police to pick them up at the scene.

He stepped out of the store.  
"Nice work, LP."  
Launchpad glanced up into the sky. There were a few clouds, but no real chance of rain in them. "Nice to have you back, DW." He smiled, overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. No more words came out of his mouth, and all he could do was hug his friend.

* * *

"I am the Quack in the Dark. Allow me to sing you your funeral dirge. I am The Quiverwing Quack!"

"Yeah right." The vampire snorted. "What are you gonna do, bite me?"  
"Why not?" She jumped over his head and perched sideways on the lamppost. "Before I stake you."  
He stumbled back. "Look, that girl was asking for it, I mean, being out this late at night ..."  
"You were going to kill her. I read it in your mind. You had no intention of letting her live."  
He turned and ran. Quiverwing's heart rate leapt up. With a jolt of energy, she found herself running after him.

She translocated in front of him and snatched him out of the air, bit into him. 'Glory, blood again.' She let go and he shoved her away, making her stagger back. Once more he bolted and she raced after him. They turned a corner and there were people on the street. 'Oh, no.' Quiverwing gritted, 'just my luck,' she slowed down and lagged behind, watching. When he got far enough away, she'd translocate again.

But as he ran past the people, he tripped and went sprawling. She stopped, frozen. 'Now what? I can't stake him in front of Envys.' One of the people grabbed him from the ground, offering him out to her. She slowly came up to them. 'Now what?'

"Is there a reason you're chasing him, miss?"  
"Yeah, he tried to kill ... dad?" She blinked, recognising the voice, looking at the other person. "Launchpad?" She pulled out her stake and without further ado; she finished the criminal vampire off.  
"Quiverwing?" Darkwing Duck said uncertainly, his voice gone husky. "Is that you?"

"Of course it is!" Launchpad grabbed her in a hug. "Oh, you're alright, it's a miracle." He stepped away from her.  
"You don't recognise me, dad?"  
Darkwing grabbed her into his embrace. "Oh, my poor little girl." He sobbed.

"I'm alright, dad." He didn't let her go for a long while. "I'm alright now."

* * *

'Two vampires. How many does it take till it becomes an epidemic, I wonder?' At Darkwing Tower Launchpad shrugged uncomfortable as Gosalyn swallowed a large quantity of juice in a short moment.

She looked up at her dad. "Ducker injected me with something."  
"It had to be venom. But you can't get venom out of a vampire. The mental process required is inaccessible by the conscious mind."

"You mean to say he's got a vampire hostage and is torturing the venom out of them, dad?"  
Launchpad shook his head. "Yeh can't hold a vampire captive, they go mad, remember? Oh, boy, do they ever." He closed his eyes, battling his nerves.

"That's a good point, LP, that's how he'd be torturing them." Darkwing said nothing for a long moment. "Could you go check on Raya for me, LP?"  
"Sure thing, DW." Launchpad nodded, grateful for this excuse to escape the conversation.  
"Thanks, Launchpad."

* * *

Darkwing scrutinized Gosalyn.  
"I never saw anything except Negaduck and him and that empty castle over in Europe."

She turned her head away. "I'm in control now. I haven't made another mistake."  
"Tell me, sweetie."  
She sighed. "Negaduck. I took a large ... bite out of him." She hung her head.  
He breathed in relief. "At least Ducker gave you the decency of giving you a proper meal after he turned you." Darkwing hugged her. "And you've had vegetables since?"

"Yes, but that first night was terrifying. There was hardly any fruit in the trees, and there was nothing in the castle. Dad, I was shaking. But then Desislav and his Oma found me and helped me."  
He scratched his head. "I've never met these people."

* * *

Ducker, creeping in through the passageway, could now hear their voices as he snuck into Darkwing Tower.

"Are they vampires?"  
"I don't think so."  
"You don't sound as sure as you should be." She blinked at him. "And you didn't recognise that I was a vampire."  
"That old woman cursed vampires but she was just as fond of the Duckers." She shrugged.  
"Listen to me, sweetie." She paused, waiting for his next words. "I mean to my heart." He laughed, and put her hand over his heart.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're still here with us. I love you so much."  
"Huh, what?" She blinked at him, uncertain that he'd even spoken. Her eyes went back down to his chest. "You have a very strong heartbeat."  
"I keep myself healthy, and I'm always in battle," was his answer.

She licked her beak. "You're a lot stronger than I am."

* * *

Darkwing gulped, shaking. "I hoped I would never ..." He swallowed, "but it's best that I do ..." He reached out for her.

"D-dad?" He traced his fingers along her artery. She quivered, her head tilted to the other side. "Your heart rate has changed." She commented, opening her eyes to look at him. "Dad!"  
"It'll be okay, Gosalyn."

She shook, unsteady as he drew her towards him. He nuzzled her cheek, pushing her head to the other side again. He lowered his head. She gasped as his teeth passed through her feathers and skin, and into her vein. A moment and then he'd released her. A moment, what a moment. She put her fingers to her neck, feeling the damage already repairing. But the sensation lingered.

"I never really knew how long your teeth were."  
"I keep myself healthy." He repeated, and then he took her hand again. "Listen to me, Gosalyn. You can do with some of my strength."

* * *

'... No ... Way!' Juan Ducker's heart seized for a moment. He doubled over, grimacing, nervous spasming in his fingers. He'd tasted her; he knew what she'd done to Negaduck. 'Over-righteous, overbearing, arrogant vampire, you're supposed to push her away!' After all, it had been so easy for him to kill Ducker's son.

* * *

Gosalyn felt assured and loved as she came closer. Her father turned his head, and she closed her beak over his neck.

She pulled away, swallowing. "Whoa, okay, Negaduck was easier to let go of." She licked her beak. "Oh, dad, you're like a whole movie in one mouthful."  
"You took two."  
"Sorry. It was a really good movie. I didn't hurt you?"  
"Of course not, sweetie." He sighed, hugging her again.

"You have more things to learn now."  
"Now? I was hoping to ..." He grinned. "Oh, that now as in later before you let me back on the street." She stood up. "Good, 'cause I'm really tired, and I haven't seen Raya and Mum for so long."  
Darkwing stood up too. "We've all missed you so terribly, sweetie." He paused. "Know how to translocate?" She smiled and closed her eyes.

* * *

"Oh, Gosalyn." Morgana pulled the teenager into her arms. "Launchpad told me, I'm so glad." She stepped back. "Raya?"

Morgana turned, stepping away, the three year old stood on the stairs, gazing through the bars at Gosalyn.  
"Is that really you, Q?"  
Gosalyn smiled, "Yeah, yeah, it's me, Raya."  
"You're all different inside."  
Gosalyn nodded stonily. She sure was. "That doesn't make me a different person."  
"I know." Raya beamed a cheery smile at her.

"Are you going to tuck me back into bed?"  
Gosalyn stepped forwards, smiling back. "Sure, Ray."

* * *

"Negaduck?" He looked up from the worksheets at Quackerjack and Liquidator.

"Get out of here you two lay-a-bouts."  
"You're trying to catch vampires?"  
"No, vampire slayers." He cackled to himself over his calculations. "What's more terrifying than one vampire crime fighter, Quackerjack?"  
"The people that take them on?"

"Try two vampire crime fighters. I'm going to kill the bastard that did this if they don't get to him first."  
"I thought you'd be the first in line for anything."  
"Spoken by a person who hasn't been bitten by a vampire." He hesitated, "or rather remember being bitten by a vampire. Being chain sawed is my preferred choice of death."

"So why waste time calculating?"  
"I need to know where the bastard's hiding."

* * *

"... And I know exactly where that is." Darkwing Duck put down his calculator in a triumphant flair. He picked up the papers with his calculations and strode across the tower to Quiverwing and Launchpad, watching the security cameras.

"We have our demented slayer's hideout."

* * *

Negaduck chucked down his pen. "I'm not a sleuth."

Quackerjack let out an out-of-kilter laugh. "Yahtzee!"  
Negaduck heaved and tipped the desk up at the pair, trapping Quackerjack underneath. He jumped on top. "But the terror is!" He crossed his arms. "And that means he'll know already. That means ..."  
"That means he'll already be after Ducker!" Quackerjack triggered a spring on hand, and the desk with Negaduck on it went sailing into the wall behind. "Better go catch the vampire to catch the slayer."

Quackerjack glared at Negaduck. "I quit. Megavolt was right all along: you're insane."  
"You're one to talk!" Negaduck gasped in pain as he pulled himself out of the wall.  
"I know my place, I don't go chasing vampires." The off-road jester stalked out the door. "That just leaves you, Licky."

Negaduck blinked. "That vampire! He's demolished the Fearsome Five by implosion."  
"We knew he was underhanded, but can he actually kill the slayer? Stay tuned."  
"I'll stay tuned, alright: I'm going to follow him." Negaduck walked through the Liquidator and out the door.

"The Liquidator would feel sorry for you, if you weren't so hell-bent on destroying yourself." Liquidator muttered to himself. "Four out of Five Fearsome team members recommend not partaking of Negaduck's madness."  
"I heard that!" Negaduck yelled back up the corridor at him.

* * *

Negaduck looked through the binoculars again, lowered them, squinted, looked through them and with a huff, threw them behind him with a clatter. "Reflective lenses." He snorted and continued to squint down at the streetscape. "Next time I'll get digital."

Darkwing Duck was standing on the street, watching the building opposite him. Shortly the teenager Quiverwing appeared and stood beside him. They watched the building for a time, she crossed her arms. Negaduck figured that they were talking. Then Darkwing walked away, and the girl followed.  
"You found him, and you're gonna let him go? Like that?" Negaduck growled. "That's okay." He consoled himself. "I have just the chainsaw for the job." He picked up the machine and slung it over his back. "It's time for some interior decoration."

He went to the lift and down out of the building. Getting to the place that the duo had been standing, he looked at the building that had his quarry. "This is a lot easier than trying to figure it out for myself." He crossed the street and melting the door-lock with his blow-torch, he went in through the entrance.

* * *

Negaduck quietly stepped out onto the overhead walkway. Below him, beside the giant chemical vats, Ducker had a box. The box had the Slayer's whole attention.

"You were right." The demented slayer said, talking to it, "I watched them, she's taken his blood."  
The box snarled.  
He laughed. "Not yet. Curse me all you like, but I'm not dead yet."  
'I'll rectify that long overdue matter.' Negaduck grabbed his chainsaw into his hands, about to start it up.

"I am the Quack in the Dark."

Negaduck stepped back from the railing, looking all around the room.

"Allow me to sing you your funeral dirge. I am The Quiverwing Quack!"

* * *

"I did this." She materialized near Ducker as he took the credit. "I turned you into a monster."  
"And you're cursed for it." Quiverwing commented.  
"Are you going to kill me, Gosalyn? Isn't that against your professional code?"  
"Professional code? As in: 'you'd be happy too, if you could eat what bugs you'?" She snatched him into her arms.

"Where's your father? What does he say about this?"  
"He thinks you'll taste really evil now because you've done this to me."  
"What ... else did he say?"  
"He said to make sure I didn't leave any dead bodies lying around when I was done."

* * *

Negaduck's fingers shook on the chainsaw, watching the vampire clutching the slayer. But when she let go of him, he was still alive.

"Ha!" Ducker staggered away from her. "You can't do it. Your morals are in play."  
"Yeah, they are." She strode across the room to his snarling box. "Because there's someone here that needs your blood a whole lot more than me!" She reached for the locks on the box. Negaduck fiercely gripped the handle on his chainsaw and ran as fast as he could. Behind him he could hear the shrieking, growling roar of the newly free vampire, punctuated by the sound of Ducker's scream.

Outside the building Negaduck skidded to a stop. Darkwing Duck stood in front of him, his cloak in a swirl, his arms crossed, glaring at him. "Isn't it about time you wake up, Ducky?"

* * *

Negaduck woke up in his hideout, sweating. He blinked around at the quiet, unassuming room. Vampires, crime fighters and other nightmares. He rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take much more of these dreams. He looked over at the clock. The radio clicked on.

"Another glorious sunny day in St Canard, isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday? Do some weeding, play some golf ..." Negaduck smashed his fist down on the machine, shattering the mechanism. "The bastard's in my head." He rubbed his temples.

"I hate vampires!"


	3. Wonderland

**_The Top Ten Signs That Your Alter Ego is In Fact Negaduck_**

_10. You and little children do not get along_

_9. Your day isn't complete without a little chaos and mayhem._

_8. You insist that you don't care what anybody says._

_7. If they do say something wrong, they'll shortly be knowing about it._

_6. Your night isn't complete without a little destruction and insanity._

_5. You have an unconfirmed suspicion that vegetarianism may be a psychological disorder_

_4. You own high quality gardening tools but you seem to be missing a garden that would warrant having them._

_3. Beloved family pets tend to die or go strangely missing under your care._

_2. Too much romantic drivel makes you go crazy and want to rip something apart with your bare hands._

**_And the top sign that your alter ego is Negaduck:_**

_1. You don't mind a little bit of romance so long as it has a huge side order of destruction and chaos!_

* * *

**Wonderland**

* * *

Negaduck woke up and stared at the clock.

He smashed his fist down on the clock before it could make a sound. He felt himself shaking with foreboding. What dream was Darkwing putting him through this time? Even so, he wasn't entirely sure the last one had been a dream.

Dramatically choreographed, but he could remember things about that dream although he hadn't been present for them.

Like Drake Mallard's three year old: He'd never known that before. How could he dream what he didn't know?

* * *

Wearily Negaduck took a walk down to Avian Way. The home of the fowl fiend that he couldn't get at stood there, forever mocking him.

Standing here made him think back to Nega-Gosalyn and how far he stooped to give her the things she wanted. He'd adopted the Gosalyn Waddlemire from his own universe for one reason alone. He needed the little brat. Without Nega-Gosalyn, Negaduck was just another gang leader, living by his wits out on the streets of the Nega-verse's St. Canard.

In a sick twist of fate, it was this universe's Gosalyn who had the perfect streak of evil in her veins. However that he didn't like her getting in Negaduck's own way, she wrought havoc on Darkwing. Just as his own Nega-Gosalyn forced her sickly sweet perversions on him, the Gosalyn of this universe occasionally forced that do-gooder Darkwing to break some rules himself. Negaduck sighed. It had been an amusing irony until his counterpart unexpectedly became a vampire.

He stared now from under the tree watching the mostly nocturnal residents stirring. And their new addition: Raya Mallard.

The door cracked open and the very child he was thinking of toddled out, down the pathway and to the letterbox. With an insane giddiness, Negaduck decided that in order to end these dreams, he needed to attack the source. As the child struggled against her diminished height to retrieve the letters, he stole across the street and snatched her up into his arms, his hand over her beak, tucking her into the folds of his trench coat.

* * *

Miraculously, he got back to his hideout with the bundle.

Seating her on a chair in the centre of the room, he knelt in front of her.  
The first thing she did was rub her beak on her sleeve in relief. "Why did you do that for?"  
"I wanna wake up." He narrowed his eyes at her. "For real. No more dreams."  
"Well, I can't help you!"  
"Of course you can." Negaduck chortled. "I have a bargaining chip. You."  
"My name's not Chip, its Raya." She wriggled uncomfortably on the chair. "I think you've made a mistake because I'm not a bargain either; I'm actually very expensive. Or my dad's really expensive ... Um, is that right? ..." She scratched her head in confusion.

"For your dad you are quite the bargain to get back. He'll do anything to keep you safe." Negaduck gazed into her dark eyes. "Wouldn't you agree?"  
"Yes." She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, resting her feet on the edge of the chair.

* * *

Negaduck boredly watched the little girl fighting boredom for herself. She'd already measured how far she could put her arm between each of the spokes of the chair back at different places and subsequently turned the chair upside down to form a tunnel to crawl underneath.

Now she was bored with the chair and returned her attention to her captor. "Mr. Negaduck, do you have any pencils to draw with?"  
"No." He gritted.  
"Okay. Can you tell me a story?"  
"Heck no!"  
"Well, can I play with your chainsaw then?"

"No ..." Although the idea was amusing, he happened to be very attached to his chainsaw. "You'll break it."  
"You're no fun!" She began crying.  
"Shut up and quit whining." Negaduck gritted. "I hate kids. I wish he'd hurry up already."

* * *

The little girl curled up against the upside down chair and fell asleep.

Negaduck stirred himself from a doze, and saw how comfortable she was. "Hey! No sleeping, get up!" If he couldn't be comfortable he reasoned, then neither could she.  
She blinked up groggily at him. "I'm hungry."  
"Yeah, well tough. So am I. You don't see me complaining about it."  
"I'm sick of your game. It's boring. I want my daddy."  
"I dunno why he's not coming. Maybe you did something to get him mad and he doesn't want you anymore."

"Oh, yeah?" The little girl snorted angrily, not believing that explanation for a second. "Well, maybe you did something to make him mad, and he doesn't want to play with you because of it. How does that one suit you?" She stuck her tongue out at him.  
"And risk you?" Negaduck frowned. To his understanding vampires were pretty demented; it was remotely possible by virtue that he didn't have a clue. Still, he needed to do something to attract attention. "Let's try this one." He crossed his hideout and dug into his box of equipment. He came back with his perennial favourite: the blow torch.

"How's this, sweetie-pumpkin?" He turned it on and advanced on her, chuckling.  
"Oo, pretty!"  
He paused, raising an eyebrow. "Sure." He grinned and moved closer. He knelt down in front of her.  
"It's very warm." She commented with it inches from her face.  
"It's gonna get a whole lot warmer." He chuckled and took a hand off the implement to grab her arm.

With a short growl, she wrenched the blow torch from his fingers. "I like this game better." She deposited the blow torch on the floor and hugged him.  
"Yuck! Get off me!"  
She pulled away. "You're almost the same size as my daddy!"  
"Yeah, don't remind me."  
"Okay." She smiled at him.

Negaduck made to pull away from this sickly sweetness and discovered that he couldn't move.  
"Daddy and me, we play this game all the time. He says I'm getting better at it."  
Negaduck shuddered. "What game is that?"  
"This game, silly. Where I catch you. D'oh, I'm so hungry, I've been sitting in here all day without anything to eat. You don't mind if I take a little bit, do you?"

"Little bit of what?"  
She hugged him in response and nuzzled her beak into the crook of his neck. Then suddenly he jolted in pain as she bit into him. "Ach, let got of me, you little ..."

He opened his eyes. The girl was quite suddenly gone. He stood up in confusion. Something wasn't right. He put his fingers to his neck. Blood came with his fingers.

* * *

"Hey dude!" Negaduck jolted awake, lying stretched out on his back with sunlight in his eyes. "You took a nasty jolt with that power line."

Negaduck stood up, stumbling, rubbing his fingers against his temple. "Yeah, right." He looked around the construction site. "Like I'd buy this one, Darkwing."

* * *

Avian Way. Negaduck stood there at the door of the house, his arms crossed. He kicked the door again.

Darkwing Duck opened the door. "You're not welcome here, Negaduck."  
"Too bad!" He pushed his way in through the door. "I'm sick of dreaming."  
"Everybody dreams."  
"Can it, blood breath, I'm talking about my dreams. Like the one I'm having right now with you in it."

"You think you're dreaming?"  
"Do you remember me kidnapping your daughter?"  
Darkwing was silent.

"You didn't show and then I woke up. I could still swear I was in that room for hours with her. What about Gosalyn turning into a vampire? That's not true, is it? That was the longest one. It felt like weeks before I woke up."  
Darkwing stiffened.

"Alright, I grant you have a problem. Can you remember the first dream you had?"  
"I ... I think we were fighting." Negaduck paused, searching back. "Yeah, you bit me."  
"Well, that's not entirely far fetched." Darkwing shrugged. "So are you worried because your dreams have been getting less realistic?"  
"No! That's not the point, you idiot!" Negaduck searched for something to smash in his reach and grabbed the hallstand vase. It shattered against the opposite wall. Bits of pottery, flowers, water went everywhere. "I demand to wake up!"

"If I'm just a figment in your dream then I'm rather a bit useless to help."  
"Well then in that case, while I'm here, I'll just make a pass at your wife." Resolutely, Negaduck stepped on past the broken pottery and Darkwing caught his cape, dragging him back as he in turn choked for air.  
"I don't know what kind of reality you may live in, Negaduck, but in this one, the game is: touch my family and you're dead."  
Negaduck gasped for breath. "Well, that sounds pretty normal for you. But so long as this goes on, I'll just do it again and again until you get me out of this literal nightmare."

"Have you had a nightmare that hasn't involved me?"  
Negaduck frowned. "Yes." Darkwing let go of his cape.  
"Are you sure? In this dream you weren't even thinking about me?"

"Yes, why?"  
"Recall it for me."  
"No way!" Negaduck cursed. "It was sheer torture from beginning to end."  
"Sounds like fun. Now if you want me to help you, stop arguing and go back to it."

* * *

Negaduck blinked and turned away from the gardening aisle. "Megavolt." He turned to view the electric rodent in the checkout line. "Lucy." The child handed up the battery to her father. "Six Nine volt batteries for S.A.D.I.E."  
"Who's Sadie?"

Negaduck jumped from the voice in his ear. He spun around on Darkwing. "Do you get a rise out of that?"  
"Oh, you've finally figured me out after all these years. I'm touched." Darkwing passed by Negaduck and approached Megavolt. "Hi, E."

"Oh, Hi Darkwing. What's up?"  
"I was just curious. Who's Sadie?"  
"No, no, S.A.D.I.E." Lucy announced, "Search And Destroy Intruders Efficiently. We're making a birthday present for my grandma."  
"Disable, Lucy, Disable, not Destroy!" Megavolt corrected somewhat worriedly. "If we wanted to destroy something, we'd just modify one of Uncle Quackerjack's toys."

"Hey, yeah, oops." Lucy grinned guiltily. "Oh well, it's only a subtle difference to the circuitry programming ..."  
"Yeah, I agree with that," Darkwing commented.  
Megavolt frowned at Darkwing before admonishing his daughter. "Lu-cy! You can't go around beating other people up. It isn't right."  
"Not unless it's part of your job." Darkwing advised.  
Lucy blinked up at him, and then she grinned. "Is that your job, Mr. Darkwing, sir?  
"Yeah, a bit. Hey, you know, I'd love to help you with S.A.D.I.E. if you'd like." He looked up at Megavolt.  
"That's great if you can come over, the kids would love it."

"Psst, numbskull." Darkwing turned back to Negaduck. "What the heck are you doing?"  
"I'm eliminating possibilities, brain drain."  
"Do you mind if I don't come with you to relive this torture?"  
"That's not how it works, Negaduck. Sorry."  
"This is my nightmare."  
"Considering the polarity factor between us I figure this shouldn't affect me."

They watched Megavolt put the boxes of Quackano on the counter and the stack of batteries.  
"You're all heart, Darkwing."  
"Come on, Lucy. Here, you want to look after the bag for daddy?"  
"I can't believe I asked you for your help, of all people."

"Yeah, it's not half odd." Darkwing frowned, contemplating him. "Was there any other dreams that I wasn't in?"  
"Yeah, but I'm not sharing that one."  
"You didn't ..." Darkwing snatched him by the collar, drawing Negaduck towards him, his teeth slid out of their sheaths.

"One dream!" Negaduck croaked in fear, his eyes fixed on the killer implements. "In half of my dreams I get eaten by savage toddlers. I've been mauled and tortured and ... and tricked ..." He flinched, recalling his encounter with Liquidator. "How old is she? I can't even remember. One time she's a teenager, the next time she's an adult, the next time she's a teenager again, she's never the same twice. I know you'd kill me; do you think if I had control I'd chance that certainty?"

* * *

Darkwing stepped away from him and they were at the lighthouse.

"Now you must stay for dinner, Darkwing." Felicia bustled him into a chair.  
"Oh, that's very kind."  
Negaduck gagged from behind him.

The two children scrabbled up to their seats. Vegetable dishes were on the table.  
"Mummy, when can we go out hunting again?"  
"I'll have to discuss it with your father later, Thomas."  
"You like hunting, huh, Thomas?" Darkwing smiled at the duckling.  
The boy nodded eagerly.

"I suppose you've programmed that sort of thing into S.A.D.I.E. huh?"  
"Oh, yes, Mr. Darkwing, sir. It's really going to be good, because the electric current powering the ability to find its prey will also double to power the disabling capacitor once they're located."  
"Whatever the heck that means. So what does it do, it electrocutes its prey?" Negaduck grumbled in Darkwing's ear.  
"Oh, it doesn't just electrocute, does it, kids?" Darkwing asked for confirmation.  
"No, because then they'd just get up afterwards and run away. No, it disables them."  
"That sounds promi- ..."

* * *

Darkwing looked around. Suddenly they were in Bushroot's greenhouse. "Negaduck, you idiot! Why'd you do that for?"  
"I couldn't stand the look on Megavolt's face any longer." Negaduck was at the end of his rope. "No more."  
"Oh, how tragic of you, Ducky."

Darkwing looked up as Bushroot approached. "What's the matter, Bushy?"  
"It's a matter of a hundred dollars."  
Darkwing spun around on Negaduck, growling. "I hope you're not this stupid in real life, Negaduck."  
"No! I swear!" Negaduck waved his hands in front of him in surrender. "But ..." he chuckled with a half grin, "you took my place with Megavolt last time, right?"

The three bouncing carnivorous sprouts circled around Darkwing.  
"You're a fool if you think this bothers me, Ducky." Darkwing knelt down and calmly held out his hands to the children who immediately latched on. "That's it, kids. Get your strength up."

Once the children had their fill Darkwing stood up again. "Belladonna." He murmured and raised his hand for her. She slipped out of Bushroot's vines and took his hand, circling her other hand around his shoulder.

Negaduck watched him leaning his head to the side, and she sank her long fangs into his neck.

* * *

They were on the dark streets of St Canard.

Darkwing turned around. "Oh, that's not fair."  
"What, you wanted to actually stick around for that?"  
"Alright, Negaduck, you can shut up now, okay?" Darkwing grizzled in moderate embarrassment.

"I am the Quack in the Dark! You've got a better chance at winning the pokies, I am the Quiverwing Quack!"

Darkwing gaped at her as she web kicked him in the stomach. He got back up. "You really have grown." He blocked another blow and another and another. He laughed, twisting about. "This is too perfect."  
"That's weird for an insult."  
"No, Q, I was talking about the dream being ..."

* * *

They were suddenly in Negaduck's bathroom.

Darkwing promptly snarled in disgust. "Don't you ever clean, Negaduck? This is gross."  
"Boss?" A burbling voice came from behind the door.  
"Hey, you're in charge right now ..." Negaduck shrugged. "I'm gonna love to see you get out of this one."

"Get ... 'out of' ... this one?" Darkwing watched the Liquidator appear from a puddle under the door.  
"Are you feeling tired, stressed out?" Liquidator encompassed Darkwing in his watery self. It was several very long moments before the Liquidator retreated.

Darkwing stayed motionless for a moment before heading for the door and opening it. "I can see now why you're not married, Negaduck."

* * *

Negaduck snarled as the scene changed to Liquidator and Quackerjack sitting at the table.

Darkwing snatched up the plans from the table and screwed them up into a ball. He shoved them down Negaduck's crop. "The Metro Bank, eh?"

Then he turned back to the others and sat down at the table with Liquidator and Quackerjack. "Yahtzee, huh? That makes sense." He watched Quackerjack and his dice, rolling random number configurations.  
"Boss? Are you not up for the heist?" Liquidator asked.  
Negaduck finally spat up the paperwork. "Gee, I wonder what gave you that impression."

"You're scared of Darkwing Duck." Quackerjack reasoned. "We understand. Don't we, Licky?"  
Liquidator nodded. "Four out of five fearsome team members suggest not upsetting the resident undead."  
Darkwing leaned forwards on his elbows in curiosity. "Who's the fifth?"  
"Megavolt!" Quackerjack jumped up with a laugh. As he did, he tipped up the box of dice on the floor.  
"Well, I don't think you should discount Bushroot so much. He might come across as scared most of the time, but he does pack a bit of power when he's inspired to use it."

"Yay, a six!" Quackerjack called out from the floor.

"... Which brings us back to the numerical situation. I've never seen you playing Yahtzee before, Quackerjack. It's not exactly a destructive game."  
"Hey!" Quackerjack stared into him, a severity in his eyes. "Don't mess with the numbers, buddy."  
"Right! Got it."

Darkwing flipped backwards from the circular table and stood up beside Negaduck. "Where to next, Alice? We've had the tea party with Megavolt, the killer garden, Tweedle Dee and Dum over here and the Purple Knight. What's up, Ducky?"

"Oh, you're gonna love the next one." Negaduck said deadpan.

Everything went black.


	4. The Bandersnatch

_A/N: Wow; you sure don't get to see Negaduck comforting Darkwing Duck very often, that's for sure._

_A/N: When I was little, we had a pinball computer game based on those old arcade games. It was a lot of fun and I've sadly never seen a computer game like it since. But DW and ND take me back to it. _

_Wahoo! Bonus ball! _

_Supercharge off the buffer? Awesome play!_

_A/N: Darn it, who is that boy and how come ND knows about him? _

_Testing ... testing ... is this thing even on?_

* * *

**The Bandersnatch**

* * *

Darkwing considered the cage he was in. Up until now he'd been in control of the situation. Seeing Quiverwing lying motionless on that table, however, was one utterly horrific nightmare for him.

Dream or not, right now, saying he felt 'a little on edge' would have been somewhat of a dramatic understatement.

He reassured himself with the facts of the case. Quite clearly he was in a dream, generated by six nine volt batteries and as much as he felt self aware, he acknowledged that he only existed as a part of Negaduck's memories.

This was kind of funny to him, since he was solving a mystery that Negaduck could otherwise not manage to do. In his analysis, he reviewed his unique position in all of this. First, he was a figment, second he had existence because of the SA.D.I.E unit, and third, he was self aware enough to put these two things together. He could even influence the other figments to at least a small degree. At least to the extent that Quiverwing, Megavolt and the others answered his questions and didn't treat him like they would Negaduck.

"This is flaming ridiculous."

Darkwing twisted about in his upside down position and reviewed Negaduck in another cage just like his.  
"I thought you took my place."  
"That just makes you my shadow, Negaduck." Darkwing advised him. "Now do you mind explaining this to me?" He turned his head back to the blood-curdling scene in front of him.  
"You're the consulting detective, Holmes. I'm just your shadow," Negaduck snitted.  
"I've really got to hand it to you, Negaduck." Darkwing commented. "You do that mocking thing very well."

* * *

At this point Juan Ducker came into the room with a tray.

"You? You monster!" Darkwing's feathers prickled and he struggled against the bindings. "Don't you ..." He looked down at the sleeping Quiverwing. No, she wasn't just asleep. There was no point in struggling, he realised; he was too late already.

She moaned, waking up.

"Awake at last. The sleeping draught lasted two days." He rolled up her sleeve.  
"What? Ducker, what are you doing to me?" She struggled against her bindings.  
"You can't call out; your caped guardian won't hear you from in here. This whole place is set with silencers."  
She gulped and repeated her question. "What ... are you doing?"  
He was preparing the vial from the tray.

Darkwing's head was completely empty, watching blankly as Quiverwing stared up at Ducker. Her father could do nothing to save her.

Ducker aimed the vial at the vein in her arm.  
"You're going to poison my blood. I'll be dead in ten minutes or so. Then what? You'll be left alone again, your son still gone. Revenge is short lived and pointless."  
"Oh no, my dear. When it comes to vampires, revenge is forever." The teenager clenched her beak and made not a sound as the soon-to-be-dead duck injected her and finished the job.

"That was criminal, Ducker." After a moment her eyelids flickered and her body went limp again.  
"Yes, it certainly was." Darkwing growled as the doomed duck departed. "And he won't live to do that again."

Darkwing freed himself of the medieval cage after a few moments and sat down on the nearby table to watch over her in her vampire coma.  
"Hey!" Negaduck grumbled, stuck in his own cage, but Darkwing ignored him.

* * *

A few hours later, just out of boredom, Darkwing Duck let Negaduck out as well. Negaduck paced behind him as he sat on the edge of a spare table.  
"We gotta get outta here before she wakes up, what are you waiting around for?"  
"We are not going to leave, you bright yellow jail bird! Sit down and shut up!"  
Negaduck was stunned into silence.

Darkwing continued to watch her in the coma. "My little girl." Hot tears slowly trekked down his mask and off his beak. "Yahtzee."  
"Don't be so pathetic!" Negaduck admonished. "At least not while I'm stuck here watching you. It's just a dream, anyway."  
Darkwing stood up, turned to Negaduck and punched him in the face. "I'm a dream too! Or have you forgotten that?" He took a breath, relaxing his fist. "Oh, I needed that, thanks."  
Negaduck snarled and straightened back up, nursing his eye.

There was a sound as the chains rattled, and Darkwing twisted back around. "Here, let me help you with that!" He grabbed the links around her wrists and mentally undid them. Then he took the ones off her ankles.  
"Darkwing Duck?"  
"Yeah, it's me, sweetie pie."  
"What he's done to me ... Oh, I'm so hungry."  
"I know, I know. Come here, sweetie." He took her into his arms. She hugged him back, and he bent his neck to the side, letting her feed easier.

After a long while she pulled back. "Oh, dad. Are you alright?"  
"I'm fine, sweetie. A little more hungry than usual, that's all." He kissed her forehead. "Let's get out of here, huh?"

"Nothing bothers you about this, huh?" Negaduck snorted, slouching to the side of them.  
"Geez, Negaduck." Quiverwing snorted. "Who invited you?"  
"You can see him?" Darkwing blinked in surprise. "You didn't see him last time."  
"I don't know anything about last time. What happened then?"  
"Shut up both of you. I've seen how this dream ends."

"Dad, what's he going on about?"  
"We're part of Negaduck's nightmare. You and I are transient figments. He wants to wake up. So desperately he actually asked for my help."  
Quiverwing grinned wickedly. "I am a figment of your imagination, I am The Quiverwing Quack!" Then she frowned. "I shouldn't have bitten you, dad. I'm gonna be real sick."  
"Not me, sweetheart, I keep myself really healthy. You shouldn't have any problems."

"So what did I do last time, Negaduck?"  
"You left me to die and went out wandering."  
"Shouldn't I have been looking for Ducker?"  
"I sure hope not, young lady!" Darkwing fixed on her.  
Quiverwing averted her eyes. "Never attack from a disadvantaged position. I know."

The she raised her eyes back up to him, changing the subject. "How do you turn to shadow?" She gazed at him in innocence.  
He softened, smiling, shaking his head. "You always get to me. I can't ever stay mad for too long at my little girl." He shifted form with her in his arms. "Feel that?" The mathematics came naturally.

"Dad, this doesn't make sense, how can this be Negaduck's dream? He doesn't know half this stuff."  
"I sure as frell don't." Negaduck gaped at them. "I'm a shadow's shadow."  
"I have two words. Try them on as an explanation: Sputterspark ... Invention."  
"Three year olds can't be that smart, can they?" Negaduck considered this information. "No, it's gotta be something else."

"Oh, gee, Megavolt's kids are so ..."  
"Don't you dare say 'cute'! They tried to take a bite out of me, and if it really was their stupid machine that did this to me I'm gonna ..."  
"Smash it?"  
"Like an alarm clock."  
"Probably is part alarm clock anyway." Quiverwing glided up to the windows and Darkwing followed behind dragging Negaduck along before he could think too hard about her comment.

* * *

Before he knew it, Negaduck found himself stomping behind them as they threaded through the trees.

"So how do we stop it, how to we trash it?"  
"Negaduck," Darkwing turned to him, "trashing things is your specialty."  
"You've broken plenty of things for yourself, Darkwing." He advised his historically clumsy double.  
"I can assure you that my prime objective is to stop criminals."  
"Whatever." Negaduck rolled his eyes.

They eventually came upon a cottage.  
"Wow. Your basic middle of nowhere type gingerbread house." Quiverwing commented.  
Darkwing thought about this. "I guess if Negaduck doesn't have the specific details, his brain will fill in the blanks."

Darkwing stepped in front of them and knocked on the door.  
An elderly woman peered through the slit and started praying. "Go away!" She yelled in German.  
"Okay." Darkwing assured her. "No problem. We were just passing by." He stepped back to Negaduck and Gosalyn. "She's completely terrified of us to the point of irrationality."  
"How'd you figure that?" Negaduck asked. "She took one look at you ... Oh. I guess I just answered my own question." He sniggered.  
Darkwing rolled his eyes. "That's very amusing, Ducky. Have you ever thought about getting your own sitcom?"

The door opened up and a boy stepped out.

Well, he was a boy; scarcely any older that Quiverwing, but towering two feet above. Not only that, but his heartbeats told Darkwing very plainly that he was a vampire.  
"I am Desislav. Why are you here?"  
"We're looking for Juan Ducker. Do you have any clues?"  
"Nein, do you not value your lives?" The boy's heart rate faltered.  
"Easy!" Darkwing consoled him. "I've dealt with him before ... I just want to finish him off this time." Darkwing had a sudden sense of understanding. "You've met his son, haven't you?"

Desislav frowned. "Go away. We have no information on Juan Ducker only that you go to find your deaths."

"Gee, dad. All this sure gives new meaning to the phrase 'how many times do I gotta kill ya', huh?"  
Darkwing chuckled at his daughter's humour.  
"Hang on ... Darkwing, where did he get that venom from?"  
"Obviously from a vampire ..."  
Darkwing and Quiverwing blinked at each other. "Alright, that clinches it, he's insane."

"He's also dead." Darkwing added and turned back to Desislav. "Thanks, kid."

* * *

Negaduck frowned as the scenery changed. They were now in Canada. "Steelbeak."

"This is a good chance for practice." Darkwing approved of the location change.  
"Thanks dad. Well, at least I think I thought of it. Anyway, I'll take the compliment."  
"Go scatter 'em, kiddo." Darkwing cheered her on excitedly.

"Why do I have'ta ..."  
"Shush!" Darkwing grabbed Negaduck and followed after her in shadow. "I'm going to enjoy this."

* * *

"I am the Quack in the Dark. Stay alert, pay attention. I am The Quiverwing Quack!" She formed in the middle of the room and snatched a worker from nearby. She threw him at the next agent, and sent a flying kick at a third. Shortly she had succeeded in scattering them all. She looked up at Steelbeak, standing on the walkway above.

"What am I cursed or something?" He called down.  
"Yes, you are."

She translocated to his side on the upper level. "You turned Darkwing Duck into a vampire. Any non-vampire that does such a thing is ..." She seized him. "Not a very nice person. Also very stupid." She snarled, lifting him off the ground.  
"Whoa, he turned you into a vampire?"  
"No-oo!" Quiverwing said with indignance. "But someone just like you. There was I, watching out for vampires, when an Envy did this to me."

"Well, you're right." Steelbeak looked her honest in the eye. "I can't think of anything more stupid than setting another vampire loose on the world; it's demented. I mean, from a non-vampire perspective that is. What you guys do, that's ... quite alright with me." He grinned, sweating.  
She put him down.  
He breathed a sigh of relief. "For a moment there, I thought you might actually kill me."

"Which moment was that, Steelbeak?" She smiled innocently at him, "this one, perhaps?" She grabbed him by the jacket and hurled him up and over the side.  
Darkwing caught him.  
"No, no, not you ... please. No, not again ..."  
"Darkwing ..." Negaduck felt himself sweating. "Far be it to interrupt another duck's ..."  
Quiverwing shoved him aside. "Zhen shut up, Negaduck." Her fangs looked very sharp as she advanced on Steelbeak who was captive in her father's arms. "I'm starving."

Negaduck gaped as a scarce minute later the corpse dropped to the floor between the two vampires.  
"Mmm, hmmm, that's good. Or rather bad ... so bad it's good." Quiverwing giggled as Darkwing wrapped his arms around her in a hug.

Negaduck turned quickly away. "Get me the frell out of here."

* * *

The scene changed back to the night time streets of St Canard. A woman screamed.

Quiverwing was over there in a heartbeat. "I don't think so, bubba." She dragged the vampire back and hurled him clear of his would be victim.  
"Don't let go of him, Quiverwing!" Darkwing snapped at her as he and Negaduck got to the scene.  
"Whoops!" She chased after the vampire.

"Are you alright, Miss?" Darkwing asked, addressing the woman.  
"Yeah ... thanks."  
"I highly recommend you go home." Darkwing took her hand and helped her up.

Negaduck watched her calm easily in Darkwing's grasp. He cursed the vampire. It was all too easy for him.

Darkwing let her loose onto the street, and they watched her walk up the empty street and make her way up the steps into a building. "Not fifty metres from her own doorstep."  
"Why didn't you bite her? I just don't get you."  
"Please, Ducky. If I bit everything I saw, why, then I would really be sick."

Darkwing changed to shadow, once again, dragging Negaduck along for the ride. They were just in time to watch as Quiverwing landed the stake.  
"Launchpad!" She hugged the other person remaining on the street as the dust cloud settled.

* * *

The scene changed again to the house on Avian Drive.

Now Negaduck found himself caught amidst a whole lot of revolting family stuff. Negaduck backed off and ended up staring into the eyes of Darkwing's three year old.  
"I remember you." He grizzled at the tiny black haired terror. "Sneaky little monster. You waited me out." He gazed at her as she gazed at him.

Her vision drifted from his eyes down to his neck. "Hug?" She held her arms out to him.  
"Oh, no you don't!" He backed off. "What is it with you, you little beasts?"

"Hey!" Darkwing moved between them and into the conversation. He fixed his blue eyes steely on Negaduck. "What the heck is your problem, Negaduck? Raya's barely three years old and you're fighting with her. How mature does that make you?"  
"Oh, very funny."  
"I'm being serious."

"In all my dreams, these little monsters keep eating me!"  
"Well, how can you blame them? You're evil, Negaduck."  
"Daddy?" Raya reached up her arms for him.  
Darkwing picked Raya up and held her in a close embrace.

"How can she see me?" Negaduck suddenly remembered that he was supposed to be Darkwing's shadow.  
"I think there's a good explanation for that, if you'll just hold out your hand, you see ..."  
Negaduck didn't even realise what Darkwing had asked him to do before he'd done it. Darkwing took his fingers, stretching out his hand, and Raya closed her beak around his wrist.  
"Darkwing ... ah!" In addition to the sharp pin pricks, Negaduck felt Darkwing's titanic grip around his arm, keeping it in place.

"Is that where it hurts, Negaduck?" Darkwing asked calmly as he kept his eyes on his daughter's beak fixed on Negaduck's wrist.  
"Wh-what? What do you m-mean?" Negaduck's breaths were coming short; his body was feeling stressed as the child slowly siphoned blood from him with a gentle sucking and tugging.  
"You should have some idea. Is the culprit a vampire? If so then where are they biting you, Negaduck?" Raya let go and Darkwing put her down on the floor.

Negaduck took a step back, holding his fingers to his wrist.  
"Well, you've got to realise the common elements in your dreams must mean something."  
"All I've got is a flaming headache," Negaduck reported with a growl, "and multiple incisions all over me from the Bushroots ... and your brat, you undead freak."  
Darkwing was an expert at ignoring jibes from criminals. He simply stood there, tapping his beak in thought. "The headache supports my theory about Yahtzee."  
"Stop saying that word."  
"Yahtzee?" Darkwing frowned.

"Negaduck, I know you hate this dream the most, but in order to solve this problem, we really have to return to the lighthouse."


	5. Saturday

_A/N: Enjoy!_

* * *

**Saturday**

* * *

"Of course, the power distribution's all wrong, that's why it hasn't been working."

Megavolt tapped madly away at his computer. From his seat on the armchair, Darkwing looked over at the twins tussling on the mat. Felicia came up from behind, carrying a tray laden with vegetable sticks.  
"Ow! Mu-um!"  
"Growl, Thomas." Darkwing advised. "That helps you connect to your instincts to fight better." Darkwing reached forwards and happily took a couple of carrot sticks. He watched the little machine, abandoned in the corner, as Thomas managed to pin Lucy.

His success made Thomas very excited and he began to spark wildly.  
"Whoa! Easy there, Thomas." Darkwing warned.

The boy calmed down, but when Darkwing looked again, the S.A.D.I.E. unit had disappeared.

* * *

"Hey, mum, can you show us the griplock again?"  
"Yeah, mum, please?"  
Felicia grinned and got down onto her knees the floor. "Darkwing, could you please me help out?"  
"Sure ..." He got down on the floor in front of her. He was rather distracted, however. 'What's happened to that little machine?'

"Okay, kids, now you see here? Before I even touch him, I do this."  
Darkwing closed his eyes. His breathing slowed as he came into contact with the assurance in her stable mental field. The issue of the mechanical spider at large hovered vaguely on the fringes of his mind.  
"Whatever the effect you want on them, you want to get close enough to touch them." She circled her arms around Darkwing's shoulders, her fingers hooking in. He felt her hold cast about his entire upper body, just allowing him the ability to breathe. "See how that's not all physical either? You combine these things and that gives you a proper lock."

"Never forget-." As he pushed slightly against her directive in order to talk, Darkwing was impressed at how firm her hold was on him. He pushed harder against her "... to stay aware of your surroundings. Everyone, everything, because if you don't, you won't notice ..."

In that instant, his peripheral warning system gave off a red alert.

* * *

Darkwing broke Felicia's mental hold on him and spun around, snatching the S.A.D.I.E. unit out of its aerial attack.

The super-sleuth got up and presented the machine to Negaduck, holding it up for him to see. It had eight telescopic legs and a rather nasty looking set of electrified jaws. "Something's giving you a headache, Ducky. Now what do you suppose that could be?"  
It made a whirring sound in his grip, and then it clicked. "Another glorious sunny day in St. Canard." S.A.D.I.E stated, proving to Negaduck that Darkwing really had found the culprit.

As he stared at it, Negaduck could almost feel it latched onto him. He put his hand to his head.  
"Isn't it about time you woke up and started enjoying your Saturday?"

* * *

"Do some weeding, play some golf, clean your house, catch up on some reading?"

Negaduck opened his eyes. He instantly recognised Bushroot's greenhouse. He started to sit up but a titanic grip on his shoulders forced him back.  
"Take it easy, Ducky."  
"Darkwing?" He groaned. "Am I still dreaming?"  
"Not anymore, Ducky. More importantly, you're still alive." Darkwing let him up slowly.

Negaduck put his hand to his temple. His fingers came back with a few specks of blood. "Why does that make any sense?"  
"S.A.D.I.E. attached itself to your synaptic relays. Dreams are a great place to start fighting when your brain's at risk."  
Negaduck pushed Darkwing aside and looked around at the people crowding around him. They were the Bushroots and the Sputtersparks.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Negaduck." Thomas stepped up in front of Megavolt. "That was an accident."  
"Oh, yeah?" Negaduck clenched his teeth at Thomas. "I'll show you-! "  
"Yeah." Darkwing replied, cutting off the rest of Negaduck's threat. The vampire was a scarce hairsbreadth behind him. He was so close it made that single word send shivers down Negaduck's spine.

"You're really lucky, Negaduck." Felicia commented, interrupting Negaduck's thoughts about vampire fangs and how long and sharp they were. "I tried several times to get S.A.D.I.E. off you. Reggie tried too."  
"Who managed to get it off me, then?" He frowned at the lot of them.  
Bushroot cleared his throat, looking away.  
Negaduck found himself staring at Megavolt. "Who got it off me?"

Megavolt had no problem with staring back at Negaduck. He never did. "Funny." The electric rodent said in his drawling voice. "Only just this afternoon we were talking about 'grievous bodily harm' and how nice it'd be not to have it in one of our conversations. Then this happened anyway. You're lucky you're not dead, Negaduck." Megavolt slapped his hand to his head. "I'm getting a feeling of Déjà vu. Why am I getting a feeling of Déjà vu, Flis?"  
"It's because you've said it to him before, Elmo honey."

"It wouldn't bother you much if I was dead, would it, Megavolt?" Negaduck asked dryly.  
"Uh ... no." Megavolt grinned lazily at him. "But my statement still stands."

* * *

Negaduck looked down and saw five sets of eyes staring up at him. "What ... is it?" He growled at the children.

"You're bleeding." One of the Bushroot brats advised him.  
"Gyah." He shuddered. "I'm leaving … that is if you'll let me get past the doors, this time, Bushroot?"

"Are you even going to thank him for rescuing you?" Belladonna harrumphed from her position beside her husband. "Typical."  
"Thank who?"  
"It was purely a mental matter." Darkwing stated from behind Negaduck, once again making his feathers curl. "The machine used your brain and its memory banks to generate the images and your mind played along. It's actually quite a sophisticated little device. Every time Felicia or Reginald tried to disconnect it, your brain ... disagreed."  
"Disagree would be an understatement." Felicia grumbled.

"You have severe psychological problems, Negaduck." Felicia told him. "Seek help."  
"That's a ludicrous statement." Negaduck pointed at her husband. "I'm not the one in the habit of talking to light bulbs."  
Belladonna tsked, crossing her arms. "I would expect a statement like that from someone as unenlightened as you. Come on, can't we all just get along?"

"No!" Negaduck scowled at her. "Why did the stupid machine keep saying the same thing over and over again?"  
"Because that's part of the disconnection protocol." Lucy announced. "It only says that while it's trying to disconnect. If you don't let it finish, it can't disconnect. Can I have it back now, Mr. Darkwing, sir? Please?"  
"Sure, kiddo." Darkwing handed the dread machine back to the under-school-age child. "You might want to adjust the sensor analysis on it, though. It was probably the one time in his life that Negaduck wasn't attacking anybody."

"Wait a minute ... are you saying ..." Negaduck flinched as the proper memory and the full horrific dinner conversation resurfaced in his memory. "I actually said 'yes' to dinner at Megavolt's place?" He blanched, "with those vampires?" He cursed. "Why the heck would I do that?"

"Oh ... Because ..." Lucy's tiny voice piped up again. He looked down at the miniature rat with the brown curls and all the answers. "You were all lost and alone. I wanted to help."  
Negaduck stared at Lucy. "You ..." He choked on his words. "You hypnotised me?"  
"Only a little bit, but it's pretty cool, huh?" She grinned up at him. "Mummy taught me."  
"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me."

Negaduck backed away from them all.  
"See you later, Negaduck." Bushroot smiled at him.  
"Any time would be too soon!" He snarled back and managed to escape the greenhouse and out into the relative safety of the night.

* * *

Outside, Negaduck somehow just knew the masked mallard had followed him.

He turned back around to Darkwing. "There's one more thing I don't get. Why didn't you come to get Raya from me? I put up with her complaining for hours that I was no fun."  
"I find that surprising." Darkwing said with a raised eyebrow. "I always find you a heck of a lot of fun."  
"I wasn't trying to get myself killed. I just wanted your attention."  
"So I see. You assumed a reality that didn't exist. You cannot die in a dream."

"Speaking of dying, I saw you and Quiverwing do a good job of finishing off Steelbeak."  
Darkwing coughed and looked away from Negaduck. "It was only a dream."  
"I always thought she was the bad influence on you. Turns out it was the other way around all along."  
"Ye-ah ... I've come to believe that we're both as bad as each other."

The vampire's eyes glinted with his keenness as he continued on talking. "Still, I feel much more confident knowing she's got a proper set of sharp pointed objects on her and that she knows how to use them on the inside of a heart beat. I can tell you that it's very reassuring to know that even when she's trapped against a brick wall she can still save herself."

Negaduck's heart jolted on the idea that Quiverwing could've pulled something on him. Darkwing's smile broadened almost instantly. "Of course, I wasn't there when you were having that part of your dream, or it might've turned out very differently." Darkwing casually licked his beak. "Well, goodnight, Ducky. This little adventure has made me realise that I've got some pressing business I need to conduct overseas." He stepped on past Negaduck down the pathway.

Then Darkwing paused and turned. "Oh! I almost forgot to wish you sweet dreams, Ducky." He laughed maniacally as Negaduck felt a wave of horror.

The vampire turned into a bat, and flew up into the sky with a shriek.


	6. Epilogue

_A/N:_ "Just a curse, have a nice day." - _Morticia's mother in_ The Addams Family: Values.

_A/N: Enjoy!_

* * *

**Epilogue**

* * *

Negaduck got back to his hideout and checked the side of the bed. No alarm clock. Good. What would a super villain need a stupid alarm clock for anyway?

He surveyed the room.

He grabbed the chair that had featured in his dreams and smashed it against the floor. From the resulting heap he spied a particularly sturdy sharp bit of wood which he saved and tucked into his breast pocket. Negaduck opened the window above his bed and dumped the rest of the chair out.

He reviewed the room again and approved of his fine-tuning.

After all that gross sweet stuff he'd endured with those people, Negaduck decided he needed a shower. He reached for the handle to the bathroom but froze in mid-motion.

There was someone in his hideout. The duck turned, grabbing the stake from his breast pocket.

"Boss?"  
He groaned. "Not now, Liquidator." He growled as the water dog washed into the room.  
"That presupposes that later would be a better time."

Negaduck felt his feather's prickling. "I'm not interested in any transactional arrangements."  
The lengthy stare that Liquidator gave him made Negaduck's feather's prickle. "... That's why you're the boss! Such a good idea would never have crossed my mind!"

"Go play with Quackerjack and leave me alone!" Negaduck snapped and turned the door handle. Negaduck gazed unseeingly into the bathroom, recalling all-too-well his Liquidator-centric nightmare. He gritted his teeth '... poor choice of words …'

Liquidator didn't move as the flumes in his liquefied brain were working overtime. "I can actually see how I could make that work ..."  
"Get out!" Negaduck yelled. He dove for the Steam-o-matic and turned it on full blast. He pointed the heat nozzle at Liquidator's quickly retreating form.

For a long moment Negaduck stared blankly at the external door that the Liquidator had left through. He eventually collected himself together and turned off the machine.

By the time Negaduck slammed the bathroom door behind him, he was cursing himself.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! _

_A/N: I would love any comments, questions or advice from you! _


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